Friday 1 August 2008

Some Thoughts on Stalking

It's crazy to think that one in 5 women are victims of stalking. It's like saying one in 3 people are obese in America (except that the last ones -in my opinion, have infringed this upon themselves).

From all the different types of stalkers, one particular type caught my attention: t
he Paranoid Stalker. It's said that this one is by far the most dangerous one, because he lives in an inaccessible world of his own invention. He can not be reasoned with and usually thrives on threats, anxiety, and fear, and basically, you cannot communicate with a him (a paranoid) because he is likely to distort everything you say to support his persecutory delusions, sense of entitlement, and grandiose fantasies.

This kind of stalking derives from a former relationship. So most stalkers are ex-partners who developed an obsession during the relationship or shortly after the break up.

A great number of this offenses are never reported to the police when they first occur, since the fresh broken ties of the relationship prevent many women to accuse their ex-former lover, thinking they could appeal to his feelings, but ignoring that you cannot appeal to his emotions he has none, at least not positive ones.

Stalking is a terribly annoying situation to deal with, and certainly the word "victim" puts the offended in a helpless position. However, stalking is a severe crime in most countries, and I can definitely imagine why. It makes no sense that some individual shows up with obsessive tendencies and propensity to paranoid thoughts, and as a wondering decease, watching his environs for the first
unwary person, who will have to pay for the encounter with years of harassment, aggression and vengeance, all for a delusional not-corresponded love illusion.

The paradox is that the abusive and paranoid ex-partner blames it all on his stalking victim. As far as he is concerned, she recklessly and unscrupulously wrecked a wonderful thing they both had going.

I still have to think of a conclusion, the matter is that this fact is something to keep in mind. Not everything can be terrible if the stalker accepts that his behavior is unacceptable. It doesn't happen often, but while many stalkers view their actions within a delusional framework and therefore see no need to get help, a few do actually do approach professionals. I feel these individuals have well ingrained values and through the veil of obsession, recognize that angry and vengeance thoughts affect terribly oneself first and then the others. But these people are the minority of stalkers, those who actually have a sense for beauty, who appreciate (and are grateful for) their lives, who have some respect for themselves, the others, and take responsibility for their lives and their actions.

Unfortunately, the rest of stalkers need others to interfeer and take action, since they on their own, are not able to live and let people live in peace and joy.

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